When I look back at the early days of John's diagnosis, it seemed like an emotional cake walk compared to what the next 5 years would hold. Of course, it was a shock finding out my husband had stage IV cancer, but it wasn't unexpected. Everyone in his family dies of cancer, and some young, at 50, like his dad and uncle. John warned me when we met that he'd likely die from cancer at 50, so a cancer diagnosis at 55? Yep, kinda figured. I started living my life in 3-month increments. Three months of treatment, three months until the next scan, three months before the next surgery. Can't make plans for a concert six months from now because he might be sick, or worse, gone. I started cleaning out the house, throwing things away, selling furniture I didn't need or want, all in anticipation of having to move as John got sicker. Material things held no interest for me. What's the point of a new watch or the latest gadget when your spouse is dying? It'd be just on